Laying it all down

Last night I was reflecting on this season as I drove home, I kept walking through the phrase ‘lay it all down’. I literally uttered the question in prayer ‘how in the heck do I lay things down at your feet permanently?!’ Because if we’re honest we (read: I) dig up in doubt things that we’ve planted in faith. I popped on over to 1 Samuel and read a bit of Hannah’s story, Hannah much like most of us had something that she desired greatly but hadn’t received yet. As I was reading her story and how she modeled ‘pouring out her soul before God’ I pictured this drink pitcher filled to the brim with wants and desires that she quite literally poured out at the feet of Jesus. Which, if you know me, it got me thinking. How often do I come to God with that pitcher filled to the absolute brim, pour it out but when it fills again I carry around that full pitcher? The thing I walked away with was that no matter how full the pitcher gets, how many times it fills, pour it out. Pour it out today, pour it out tomorrow and pour it out the next day if you have to. I think this is something that I’ll constantly have to come to, but something tells me it’s worth it.

How do you go about pouring things out at Jesus’ feet? What do you do when you find yourself digging in doubt what you’ve planted in faith? I’d love to hear!

 

XOXO,
Meg!

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Nothing is wrong, this is purposeful!

“Nothing is wrong. This is purposeful.”

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I was listening to a video this morning talking about waiting from a group called Sons and Daughters and they said this quote and of course it got me thinking. Not necessarily about being single at all, which was the context of the video, but rather about things being purposeful. Whatever season you find yourself in, know that every aspect of it is purposeful. Every little detail that is unique to you, every situation that is unique to you, it all has a purpose.

I know a lot of the time we look at the places we’ve gone and the things that have happened in our lives and we don’t think much of them, but they’re all filled to the brim with purpose.
I found myself this morning on the phone having a really teary-eyed conversation about this persons life and how it’s affected me and this line kept ringing in my mind as we were speaking. It has a purpose. It all has a purpose. Whether I see it or not, everything has a purpose.

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Every mountain we’ve climbed that has left us winded or triumphant, it has a purpose. The season you’re in has nothing wrong with it, although we like to think the opposite because it may not be how we’ve planned it, nothing is wrong with it. You are who you are on purpose. You are where you are on purpose. You are affected by things on purpose. Friends, that purpose is for your good too! We read it in scripture often. In Romans, we’re told that “God works all things together for our good.” The word ‘good’ here in greek is agathos and one translation of that is “good whether it be seen to be so or not”. So, wherever you find yourself today, know that everything in your life has purpose, past, present, and future and that the purpose is ultimately good.

It’s always an adventure, friends!

 

XO,
Meg

Think Dirty: Limited Edition Holiday Box Review

I found the #ThinkDirtyApp a few months ago from the girls over at @abeautifulmess and I haven’t looked back!
I’m big on making sure the products I put on my body and use in my home are safe.  The #thinkdirtyapp is an app that lets you scan the barcodes of products and get the REAL details of what you’re putting into and on your body! #ThinkDirtyApp has made it simple for you by a seasonally curated box filled with highly rated- ACTUALLY GOOD- products! Think Dirty sent me their Holiday Limited Edition Beauty & I spent the last week trying out all of the products that were in it.
Scroll to see all of the goodies in the Holiday Limited Edition Box, it’s valued at over $160. If you want to try it you can use the code “MEGAN5OFF” for $5 off, you definitely get your money’s worth & this box has some great gems in it. You can find it, & other great products at thinkdirtyshop.com #thinkdirty
William Roam Sense Shower Gel and Body Lotion \\ I put the shower gel in my shower Immediately and haven’t taken a shower without using it! The scent is relaxing and reminds me of a good ole spa day!
Primally Pure Deodorant \\ I immediately knew this was the deodorant that I would take with me to NYC. It’s travel size and I love the scent of lemongrass! I wore it to the gym one day to test it out and I loved that I could smell lemongrass throughout my workout. It held up through a HIIT workout so I would say it’s a winner!
LaMav Firming Eye Lotion \\ I started using this immediately when the @ThinkDirtyApp box arrived! I love the consistency. I’ll keep you updated on results!
Jusu Body Vanilla Peppermint Body Lotion \\ I’ll admit I’m picky when it comes to lotions but this blew me out of the water. I’ve kept it on the counter while testing this out and it’s safe to say my skin has never been more supple!
Pour le Monde All Natural Eau De Parfum Together \\ I absolutely love this. Perfect scent for winter!
Butter Babes Dry Brush || I’m all for a good dry brush and this one helps break down cellulite and exfoliates your skin! The handle is long enough to reach down your back, which is wonderful for us long torso girls!
Mooi Lab Finishing Powder \\ Raise your hand if you love a good matte finish to your makeup! One ingredient for the win! I have used this every day since I got it and I love it!
Rejuva Minerals Pur Lips Lipstick \\ Can I get an amen for a lipstick with a subtle shimmer?! This is the perfect dusty pink color!
Biossance Squalane + Antioxidant Cleansing Cloths \\ I’m sort of crazy when it comes to my skincare routine and these were a breath of stress-free air! I have thrown these in my overnight bag multiple times since I received them! They leave your face clean, your lashes and brows nourished and they’re not harsh!
Stout Daily SPF for Men \\ I am totally putting this in my dads Christmas stocking! He is in the sun all day every day and could use some good protection! While I didn’t try it on myself the consistency is great and it has a nice scent to it!
Sumsoap Carrot Gingercake \\ Okay! This smells like fall in a soap! This soap has vitamin potassium A and C!
Age Quencher Hydrate \\ For a girl who is serious about her hydration this was perfect! I actually ended up putting it in my water bottle after the gym. The taste is great and not chalky! I’m immediately ordering more of these!
Go check out the box and don’t forget to subscribe! Use my code “MEGAN5OFF” to get $5 off of your box at thinkdirtyshop.com
XOXO,
Meg

Mountains, Heartbreak and The hike that changed it all

Sometimes I like to think that God is up there watching my life unfold and He is laughing at me. He see’s me walking up mountains and down paths and every so often I get tripped up over things that shouldn’t trip me up, but alas, I fall. My imagination tells me He is thinking ‘sweet girl, if only you would fully trust me and walk where I’ve called you to go, your feet would be more steady.’

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November has been such a beautiful month of restoration and hope. The months leading to it, however, were not quite as beautiful. I have a really good head on my shoulders but that was not the case during those months. My heart had been broken, I was searching for affirmation in all of the wrong places, hopes & dreams that were slowly dying fueled the fire for the rocky path I started to walk down.

I don’t typically share quite as much with you guys as I am about to, but my assurance is in the fact that someone needs to hear this. We’re all friends here and sometimes our journeys aren’t as pretty as our Instagram feeds. Sometimes they’re filled with loneliness, fear, and pain. If nothing else, I’m hoping my experience keeps you from doing the same.

That day back in July my problems were huge and my heart was hurting. Once we got to the top of that giant rock I got a moment to just sit on my own for a second and think about all of the happenings from days before. It was in that moment that I was reminded that God had a handle on what I was going through. Problems that I perceived as HUGE were tiny to Him and it was on that mountain that I knew I would eventually move beyond all of the emotions I was feeling.

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But much like the hiking trip mentioned on my Instagram last week, sometimes to get to the top of the mountain we have to get pricked by a few thorns and trip over a few rocks to get a new perspective. I sat on top of that mountain with an aching heart that had no hope. Sometimes you have to experience loneliness, fear, and pain to walk in fullness and freedom.

Loneliness is a funny thing. SO many people are carrying the weight of it, yet we all feel like we’re the only ones. I tried to fill my loneliness with guys and more people following the end of that relationship, that led me to a dangerous place of compromising morals and not allowing myself any room for healing. I was filling a hole with more and more meaningless relationships.

Fear is a dangerous thing. When we operate out of fear we make decisions that we wouldn’t typically make. We rush into rebounds that won’t amount to anything and are shattered when they don’t. We jump into opportunities even though we’re exhausted and not the best for us just to prove that someone wants us somewhere.

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Today, however, my heart isn’t broken, my hope is reestablished in the correct things and I’ve learned valuable lessons. Like the one about rebounds…
Heartbreak sucks, but you my friend are worth more than a broken heart, you are worth the joy that follows healing. You are worth more than flings that never amount to anything. You are worth the peace that comes in knowing that no matter where your journey takes you, mountain or valley, God has orchestrated all of your steps and you can walk confidently into even the hardest thing because you know He cares for you. You can walk through that valley with your head up and your heart buried so incredibly deep in Jesus because He’ll shield it from arrows

I’m grateful for that heartbreak. Words I would have never imagined I would be able to utter in the midst of it. Now, however, I wouldn’t have changed that season for anything.

XOXO,
Meg

Full Circles Moments, God’s goodness and Beautiful November’s

Do you ever have moments that come full circle? I was thinking about these as I drove to church last Sunday. During a somewhat monotonous drive, I drove past a few places that have held a little of-of heartbreak that I was reminded of almost every time I have passed them. That day, however, the story was different. It’s almost as if my little heart breathed a sigh of relief, like it said: “ahhh, that no longer hurts!”

July was a tough month. Following a break-up that I knew was coming, the heartbreak settled. I found myself short of breath and almost as if I were treading water getting nowhere. I found myself hurting and I stayed there for a little while.

I’m naturally a processor, now it may take me weeks to fully process a thought or an idea, but by the time I’ve come to an end in that processing and made my decisions I’m walking towards an outcome. I walked through the good and bad reasons that this relationship ended and then let it settle. “It’s over, what do I do next?” was one of the things I thought about often. Some days the answer to that question was to cry, most of the time, however, it was to pick up the pieces and keep moving.

I rest a lot on the goodness of God in tough seasons. Everything that I go through is for His Glory and for my good. That is enough. God in all of His Holiness decided that I was the one to go through whatever it may be, particularly a break up here, and I can rest in that. I can rest in the fact that the all-sovereign God of all the world, my world, thought it was good for me to go through this. This shifts my processing through the lens of His Holiness.

There isn’t going to be an ‘if’ you hurt, it will be a ‘when’ for us. This was my ‘when’. I let myself sit in the heartbreak, make rash decisions based on that hurt and heartbreak and then I moved on. That’s the hard part. I didn’t have to move on alone though, I moved on with the help of an incredibly gracious God and the Holy Spirit. You may read that and think that it sounds silly. ‘How in the world can God help her move on from a breakup?! I mean, he’s not even there to give her a tissue.” may be a thought that you have. I’ll admit, I understand where you’re coming from. I never stopped praying for my heart and for healing. I stopped putting myself in situations that made me hurt worse and when I didn’t know what to pray the Holy Spirit helped. I started looking at everything through the lens of God’s goodness.

Through that lens, I knew that I would wake up one day and not feel anything. I knew that I could go back to that place one day and not have a gut check. I knew that sometime I would feel whole again, I knew I would feel okay again. And last Sunday was one of those moments that I was incredibly grateful for that tough July. Because that incredibly hard July has paved a way for the most beautiful of November’s. For that pain, and the current beauty I am incredibly grateful that I can sit here with tears in my eyes and be thankful for a God that aligns our steps but also walks with us.

For my good and His Glory.

I don’t pretend to know what you’re going through, nor do I know the toll that it’s taking on you. but I do know that you will get out of the fire you believe you’re stuck in. You will rise from the ashes. That pain that you feel, it’ll go away because restoration and healing are available to you. You, my dear friend, are worth it. Walk down the path of healing, though it’s rocky at first I guarantee you, you’ll also have those “aha!’ moments where you realize that the pain is gone. Where you realize the restorative power of Jesus and you walk in full healing able to embrace all God is calling you to. Don’t give up sweet girl, your ‘next’ is far greater than the past that you’re hurting from. Beauty for ashes can and will be your story too.

 

We can’t have our beautiful November’s without our hard July’s!

XOXO,
Meg

 

God is doing bigger things…

You know what I’ve been thinking about a great deal lately? I’ve been thinking about how God is doing bigger things in my life than putting a ring on my finger. Which has led me to think about how in the past I had been so incredibly discontent about that one area of my life.

I haven’t always thought about marriage quite as obsessively as I have in the last few years, you can chock that up to me being three years away from being thirty. But lately, I can’t help but feel convicted about the fact that God is currently doing big things in my life, but I’ve been moaning and groaning about the fact that I’m not married yet. Living in such a state of discontentment for that one thing that I’m missing out on all that He is doing.

Here is what discontentment really is:
Mistrusting of God. If contentment is trusting Him, discontentment is the opposite.
It shows a desire to be sovereign. “I’m a better planner than you God”
Discontentment covets something God has not been pleased to give you.
It robs you of fully enjoying anything.

How often do we find ourselves living in discontentment over one thing that we are missing out of the 2903 things that God is working out for us? Discontent because we can’t seem to get matched to a child for adoption because we can’t seem to have a child of our own because we just can’t seem to find that job, or because dreams keeping evading us. I know for me, it’s all too often.

Here lately I can’t deny that I’m living in a season where a lot of things are unfolding. I ironically enough keep calling this ‘The Unfolding’ because I’m weird and like to give seasons titles. (Something tells me that will be a song title later in my life) I’ve been praying through reviving dreams for three or so months, you can read the blog I posted about it here. Much like a rocket ship, those prayers have taken off and have shifted things in heaven to begin shifting things on earth for exactly that. It’s been a breath of fresh air breathed into the drought that I have been in.

I’m full of faith in those prayers as I see them unfold, but slowly returning to full of faith about all of the future. My discontentment towards marriage speaks to my untrusting heart. It speaks to the fact that I believe that I am a better planner than God is. How can I be confident in what God is doing with these dreams that I’m praying through, while simultaneously insecure about that area? I wish that I could sit here and say that I am renewed and whole, but I’m not. What I can say to you is that the most trustworthy God is slowly etching away the parts of me that wouldn’t be fit for those dreams or anything else and that’s something I can be so incredibly content in.

There are so many stories in scripture that speak to exactly where I am and in those, I can find hope. The one that I’m always brought back to is in Exodus 14/15. The Israelites saw God’s great power and put their trust in Him and in Moses. But when the going got tough, and the water ran dry they grew discontent. They were focused on what they were lacking rather than what God had done and was going to do for them. Granted, I don’t want to be like them and get to whatever my proverbial ‘promised land’ is and miss out on it.

Wherever you find yourself today, know that even when things on earth don’t match what you’d hoped they would look like, that God’s thoughts and ways are so much higher than ours could ever be. [Is.43] I constantly have to come to a place of repentance and surrender when I grumble much like the Israelites.
Focus on how far you’ve been carried and trust God to supply you with the wisdom and resources that you need. Our needs teach us to trust God more, and that’s not such a bad thing is it?

 

xoxo,
Meg

 

 

 

Owning Dreams and a little story…

Over the last few months, I have been praying through dreams that I’ve had that needed to be resurrected.
You know the ones that you’re passionate about and have such a heart for, but aspects of the world have slowly but surely helped you bury. I have a few of those. Some I have grown incredibly content in them never being fulfilled (How ridiculous, right?!) I have almost gotten to a point where I’ve felt brave enough to walk forward in a few those dreams.
Little did I know how the Holy Spirit was working in the details. On the most ordinary of nights, I found myself at a Worship night, and just like the Holy Spirit doing his thing, it wasn’t the most ordinary of nights.
One of the worship leaders starts a prompt that has been on her heart as she and the team prepared for the day. She starts talking about restoring and reviving dreams and how she felt like someone here tonight would need a little extra encouragement. My palms immediately start to sweat. “This is for me” was the first thought to fire in my mind. As she kept speaking I started to freak out for a minute because I was confident that this prompt was for me. You know those moments when everything just makes sense? She comes down off of the stage after a few minutes of me being prayed over by others. She speaks to me and asks what dreams need to be revived and I halfway put words together, still in awe of the last five minutes. She hands me the above-pictured key with the word ‘dream’ etched into it and encourages me in a way that she will probably never know the weight of.

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What dreams have I buried and why have I buried them, you ask?! I have always had a heart for worship and will put my place in every place possible to be in worship. What does that look like for my life currently? I’ll have to keep you updated. I’m right smack dab in the middle of what I’m calling the unfolding!
Today, pursuing your dreams or halfway fearful to do so, know that the God in heaven knows those dreams, He knit them inside of you after all. Take whatever leaps of faith that you need and keep working on them. Me? I’m running full force to them because there is no sense in me just letting them waste away. Whatever it takes for you to run towards them, do it. Whether that’s voice lessons and guitar lessons, do it. Do whatever it takes, friend.
xoxo,
Meg